I could not get to sleep last night.
I lay awake for hours, just quietly, thinking about the morning. Thinking about what it meant, about choices I had made, and about what I was going to have to let go of. You see our eldest boy Luka was starting school the next day.
We dressed him up in his new blue uniform and his new black shoes and new white socks. His enormous new hat went on his head and his equally enormous backpack was way too ridiculous to put anywhere really. When we arrived at the school gates he turned to myself and his father, and asked if we were going to come inside with him.
I'm not sure what he was thinking there.
Of course we went in with him, and found his classroom and met his teacher. I held his hand right up until he went to sit in a circle with the other children to sing the hello song, and the parents were instructed to say a quick goodbye and leave.
A big hug and a kiss, a wave goodbye and the parents were gone, leaving our most treasured possessions at the mercy of the world, to grow up and to begin the challenge of making their own way.
I have gone through every emotion known to mankind in the past 12 hours, and I am feeling tired and wrung out, but so happy and proud of our lovely, lovely little man.
In he and his little brother's words, he's a big schoolie boy now.
And finally I grew something right.
16 comments:
Oh darling girl, you sure did.........you sure did........
I walked to the car crying the day BigM started school.....he was fine, I wasnt....
Cos when I got home I could smell something in the car and realised I had trodden in dog poo on the way back to the car from dropping him off....
So that was my first borns first day at school memory for me.....dog poo.
But at least I laugh my head off about it now instead of crying......
Hope your week goes smoothly...lots of early nights, as starting school is pretty draining on those little blokes...( and their mummies...)
xxxx
Oh Ali! He looks very grown up, I hope he really enjoyed it today.... Lots of love to you, rest up now x
how gorgeous does he look! You should be so proud. Who needs to grow veggies when you've grown one of these :)
xxx
Awww, he is so cute! I didn't have too many problems sending the first one off. The second one took to school like a duck to water...she was used to seeing her big brother off. But the last one...the last one...it ripped my heart out (but he didn't notice!) That's when I went back to school myself and learned to be a teacher. So you see, I have seen it from both sides now (singing). I agree with Enchanted Moments...sleep, sleep and more sleep. By Friday of every week for the first year my girl was a crying heap. They usually sail through the first three weeks then the reality that this is going to be the routine...for ever...hits home.
Ooh Ali, you've almost made me cry. My littlest boy starts school this year too. I know I'm going to be a big sook. I shed a quiet tear when my eldest started and this one's going to be even harder because he seems such a baby. I've still got a couple of weeks to go so I'll try not to think too much about it in the meantime. Good luck over the next few weeks. It gets easier.
He'll be home soon and will have all the things he did to tell you about. Always make time to listen, now that he's out in the world. "Stuff" gets in the way sometimes, when our kids really want to share things with us at that age. Always listen to them. What does the rest of it matter compared to that sharing? A chance missed is a chance gone forever.
Thanks for sharing.
Veggie PAK
Growing pains! Mothers have them too when their heart walks out the door.
Donna
Crikey; all this motherly stuff is almost bringing a tear to my eye too!!! I've just about got over my two growing up (they are 31 and 29), and now one of them has a daughter of her own (Lara) so now we are re-discovering child-minder, nursery, school choices all over again, though this time at one stage removed. My perception is that your kids are always in a way "children" in your own eyes, and they will probably always want your advice and guidance in some form.
Thank you so much everyone :)
Luka was very wide eyed when I picked him up, he looked a little wired. I got out of him that it was a "good" day, he'd played with a train and some blocks, and he'd like to go back again tomorrow thanks please mummy.
I really appreciate all your well wishes and experiences, and just wait until next year when my baby boy has to go too!
Oh Ali, you made me cry *again* - where did the time go?! David had a great day yesterday, I had my major meltdown last Monday but was upset again today when I took him to before school care so he could get into a routine as I only have the week off.
Ali, you have every reason to be so proud of a young guy like that, and what a handsome young lad! I know exactly what you mean about the feelings of leaving them to the mercy of the big outside world, and felt just the same with both my daughters. Alas, they are now grown up, and the eldest is experiencing the same feelings now with my grandchildren....time eh?....a funny thing!
Oh Donna, our little men hey. Just wait until we are up at night waiting for them to come home. I might move to the very remote countryside.
Gary, such lovely words for my little man, thank you :) I just cannot imagine my little men all grown up with their own little people, but yes, time marches on. I hope you are enjoying those grandchildren of yours!
Such a happysad time for you.
Funny, but they kind of never grow up - in our hearts that is.
You'll have to get a bigger fridge now .... for all the art work he'll bring home. Cheers :D
Oh Susan, I just can't wait to be on tuckshop duty!
Oh he looks so CUTE!!! Lovely pictures of a lovely little boy. xx
Can I put up your post to my weblog? I'll add a back-link to your forum. That’s one really candy post.
Feel free to visit my blog post: having trouble getting pregnant
Post a Comment
comment here!